8. It is a common doctrine of the Saints that one of the principal means of leading a good and exemplary life is modesty and custody of the eyes. For, as there is nothing so adapted to preserve devotion in a soul, and to cause compunction and edification in others, as this modesty, so there is nothing which so much exposes a person to relaxation and scandals as its opposite.----St. Alphonsus Rodriguez
In his life of St. Bernard, Surius relates that when Pope Innocent III went with his Cardinals to visit Clairvaux, the Saint, with all his monks, came out to meet him, but with such a modest and composed exterior as moved to compunction the Cardinals and the Pope himself; for they were astonished that on such a festival, and such an unusual and solemn occasion of rejoicing, they all kept their eyes cast down and fastened upon the ground without turning them in any direction, and that while all were gazing at them, they looked at no one. He also tells of St. Bernard, that he practiced custody of the eyes to such a degree that after a year's novitiate he did not know how the ceiling of his cell was made, whether it was arched or flat; that he always believed there was one window in the church, while there were three; that he walked, one day, with his companions on the short of a lake, without knowing it was there, so that when they were speaking of the lake in the evening, he asked where they had seen it.
It is narrated of St. Bernardine of Siena that his modesty was so great that his mere presence acted as a restraint upon his companions; so that if one only said, "Bernardine is coming," they would check themselves immediately. Surius also tells, in his Life of St. Lucian the Martyr, that the heathens were converted and became Christians by merely looking upon him, on account of his composure and modesty.
The blessed Clara di Montefalco never raised her eyes to the face of anyone with whom she was speaking. When she was asked by a monk the reason of this, she answered: "As we speak only with the tongue, what need is there of looking in the face of the person we are talking with?"
St. John Berchmans was greatly to be admired for mortification of the eyes. He would never turn to look at anything, however new and unexpected it might be, and even a noise behind him would never cause him to turn, natural as it is to do so. Happening to be present one day at a college exhibition, he took a seat on a bench and remained motionless, without ever raising his eyes, and with so much recollection that a nobleman who occupied the next seat was amazed, and said, "This Father must be a Saint."
There are, on the other hand, innumerable instances of those who have become relaxed and a cause of scandal through want of custody of the eyes. It will be enough to cite the example of David, who, by a simple unguarded glance, prompted by curiosity, was suddenly changed from a great Saint into a great sinner, the scandal of his whole kingdom.
9. Believe me that the mortification of the senses in seeing, hearing, and speaking, is worth much more than wearing chains or hair-cloth.----St. Francis de Sales
It is known of St. Catherine of Siena that while her family were celebrating the Carnival in their house, she was not willing to join them, protesting that as she had no other love, so she had no other pleasure, but in her Jesus. He then appeared to her in company with the Blessed Virgin and other Saints, and espoused her with so much clearness and certainty, that the Dominicans, by Apostolic Indulgence, celebrate a festival in commemoration of it on the last day of the Carnival.
A very devout penitent of his once confessed to St. Francis Xavier that she had looked upon a man with more tenderness than was suitable. The Saint closed what he had to say to her with these words: "You are unworthy to have God look upon you, since for the sake of looking upon a man, you do not regard the risk of losing God." This was enough, for, during the rest of her life, she never again turned her eyes toward any man.
The Empress Leonora kept her eyes down, and raised them only when she was welcomed by monks or nuns to their house; she returned their salutations courteously, with a cheerful countenance and a kind smile. When present at the theater, to which she was obliged to go, she rarely glanced at the splendid gathering of the nobility or at the superb scenes which succeeded each other, with views of gardens, forests, and palaces, in perspective. She spent all this time with her mind in Heaven, contemplating the delights of Paradise, and reciting Psalms, which, to avoid notice, she had bound in the same style as the books of the plays, so that she seemed to everyone very attentive to the play, while she was, in reality, enjoying a very different sight. St. Vincent de Paul practiced continual mortification of the senses, depriving them even of lawful gratifications, and often inflicting on them voluntary sufferings. When he was traveling, instead of allowing his eyes to wander over the country, he usually kept them on his crucifix. When walking in the city, he went with eyes cast down or closed, that he might see God alone. Visiting the palaces of the nobility, he did not look at the tapestry or other beautiful objects, but remained with downcast glance and full of recollection. He practiced the same thing in the churches, never raising his eyes except to behold the Blessed Sacrament, not to look at the decorations, however beautiful they might be. He was never seen to gather flowers in the gardens, or take up anything that was pleasing to the sense of smell; on the contrary, he greatly enjoyed remaining in places where there was an unpleasant odor, such as hospitals and the houses of the sick poor. His tongue he employed only in praise of God and virtue, in opposing vice and in consoling, instructing, and edifying his neighbor. His ears he opened only to discourse which tended to good, for it gave him pain to hear news and worldly talk, and he made every effort to avoid listening to what would delight the hearing without profit to the soul. When a penitent who was somewhat reckless in his speech asked his director for a hair shirt to mortify the flesh, "My son," said the priest, laying his finger upon his lips, "the best hair shirt is to watch carefully all that comes out at this door."
St. Aloysius Gonzaga was admirable for mortification of the eyes, for it is narrated in his Life that he never looked any woman in the face. After he had served the Empress as page for two years, a report was spread that she was coming into Italy, where he happened to be, and some congratulated him on the prospect of seeing his mistress again. But he replied: "I shall not recognize her except by her voice, for I do not know her face." His rare mortification was well rewarded by God even in his life, for he was never attacked by temptations of the flesh.
St. Anthony Mary Claret:
Singular among them must be mentioned St. Bernard, St. Peter of Alcantara, and St. Philip of Neri, of whom I have read that after having been for thirty years the confessor of a Roman lady renowned for her rare beauty, he still did not know her by sight.
I can say with certainty that I know the many women who come to confession to me more by their voice than by their features, because I never look at any woman's face. In their presence I blush and turn red. Not that the looking at them causes me temptations, for I do not have them, thanks be to God, but the fact still remains that I always blush, even though I cannot explain why. I might mention here that I naturally and in an entirely unaccountable manner keep in mind and observe that oft-repeated admonition of the holy Fathers, which goes: Sermo rigidus et brevis cum muliere est habendus et oculos humi dejectos habe -- Speech with women must be serious and brief, while the eyes must be cast on the ground. I know not how to hold a conversation with a woman, no matter how good she may be. In few and grave words I tell her what she must know, and then immediately I dismiss her without looking to see if she be rich or poor, beautiful or ugly.
When I was giving missions in Catalonia, I stayed at the rectories of those parishes in which I gave missions. During all that time I do not remember having looked at the face of any woman, whether she happened to be the housekeeper, the servant, or the relative of the parish-priest. Once it happened that after some time I returned to Vich, or some other town, and I was accosted by a lady who said to me: "Anthony Claret, don't you know me? I am the housekeeper of such and such a priest in whose parish you were for so many days giving a mission." but I did not recognize her; neither did I look at her. With my gaze fixed on the ground, I asked her: "And how is his Reverence the pastor?"
What is more, I shall relate another instance which could not have been so, had I not received very special graces from heaven. While I was in the island of Cuba, for six years and two months to be exact, I confirmed more than 300,000 persons, the majority of whom were women, and young ones at that. If any one were to ask me what are the characteristics of the Cuban women's features, I would say that I do not know, despite the fact that I have confirmed so many of them. In order to administer the Sacrament of Confirmation, I had to look where their foreheads were, and this I did in a rapid glance, after which I shut my eyes and kept them shut all during the administration of the Sacrament.
Besides this blushing that was natural to me when in the presence of women, and which hindered me from looking at them, there was another reason which prompted me to adhere to this mode of conduct. It was the desire to profit souls. I remember having read years ago of a famous preacher who went to preach in a certain town. His preaching turned out to be very fruitful, and all the townsfolk were lavish in their praise of him. "Oh, what a saint!" said they. Yet there was one exception of all these praises, and it came from a wicked man who said: "Perhaps he is a saint, but I can tell you one thing, and it is this: he likes women a great deal, for he was staring at them." This single expression was enough in itself to decrease the prestige which the good preacher had merited in that town, and not only that, but it brought to naught all the fruit which his preaching had produced.
Incidentally, I have also noticed that people form a poor opinion of a priest who does not mortify his eyes. Of Jesus Christ I read that He was always mortified and modest in regard to His looks, for the Evangelists have accounted as an extraordinary occurrence each time He lifted up His eyes.
He was wont to say, "I would prefer to have my eyes gouged out of their sockets than to fix them on a woman." Speaking with females, he always looked to the ground; and he spoke to them only in case of extreme necessity, observing the sermo brevis et durus [speech short and hard] of Saint Augustine.
True Spouse of Jesus Christ by St. Liguori:
1. ALMOST all our rebellious passions spring from unguarded looks : for, generally speaking, it is by the sight that all inordinate affections and desires are excited. Hence holy Job "made a covenant with his eyes, that he would not so much as think upon a virgin." (C. xxxi. v. 1.) Why did he say, that he would not so much as think upon a virgin ? Should he not have said that he made a covenant with his eyes, not to look at a virgin? No, he very properly said that he would not think upon a virgin; because thoughts are so connected with looks, that the former cannot be separated from the latter; and therefore, to escape the molestation of evil imaginations, he resolved never to fix his eyes on a woman. St. Augustine says : "The thought follows the look; delight comes after the thought; and consent after delight." From the look, proceeds the thought; from the thought the desire; (for, as St. Francis de Sales says, what is not seen is not desired,) and to the desire succeeds the consent. If Eve had not looked at the forbidden apple, she should not have fallen; but, because "she saw that it was good to eat, and fair to the eyes, and beautiful to behold, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat." (Gen. iii. 6.) The devil first tempts us to look, then to desire, and afterwards to consent.
2. St. Jerome says, that satan "requires only a beginning on our part." If we commence, he will complete our destruction. A deliberate glance at a person of a different sex, often enkindles an infernal spark, which consumes the soul. "Through the eyes," says St. Bernard, "the deadly arrow of love enters." (Ser. 13.) The first dart which wounds and frequently robs chaste souls of life, finds admission through the eyes. By them, holy David fell. By them was Solomon, once the inspired of the Holy Ghost, drawn into the greatest abominations. O how many are lost by indulging their sight. The eyes must be carefully guarded by all who expect not to be obliged to join in the lamentation of Jeremiah: "My eye hath wasted my soul." (Jer. Thren. iii. 51.) By the introduction of sinful affections, my eyes have destroyed my soul. Hence St. Gregory says, that "the eyes, because they draw us to sin, must be depressed." (Mor. L. xxi. c.2.) If not restrained, they will become instruments of hell, to force the soul to sin almost against her will. He that looks at a dangerous object, continues the saint, "begins to will what he willed not." It was this the inspired writer intended to express, when he said of Holofernes, that "the beauty of Judith made his soul captive." (Jud. xvi. 11.)
3. Seneca says, that "blindness is a part of innocence;" and Tertullian relates, that a certain Pagan philosopher, to free himself from impurity, plucked out his eyes. Such an act would be unlawful; but he that desires to preserve chastity, must avoid the sight of objects calculated to excite unchaste thoughts. "Gaze not about," says the Holy Ghost, "upon another's beauty...hereby lust is enkindled as a fire." (Ecc. ix. 8, 9) Gaze not upon another's beauty: for, from looks arise evil imaginations, by which an impure fire is lighted up. Hence St. Francis de sales used to say, that "they who wish to exclude an enemy from the city, must keep the gates locked."
4. Hence, to avoid the sight of dangerous objects, the saints were accustomed to keep their eyes almost continually fixed on the earth, and to abstain even from looking at innocent objects. After being a novice for a year, St. Bernard could not tell whether his cell was vaulted. In consequence of never raising his eyes from the ground, he never knew that there were but three windows to the church of the monastery in which he spent his noviciate. He once, without perceiving the lake, walked along its banks for nearly an entire day: hearing his companions speak about it, he asked when they had seen it. St. Peter of Alcantara kept his eyes constantly cast down, so that he did not know the brothers with whom he conversed: it was by the voice, and not by the countenance, that he was able to recognize them. The saints were particularly cautious not to look at persons of a different sex. St. Hugh, when compelled to speak with women, never looked at them in the face. St. Clare would never fix her eyes on the face of a man. She was greatly afflicted, because, when raising her eyes at the elevation to see the consecrated host, she once involuntarily saw the countenance of the priest. St. Aloysius Gonzaga never looked at his own mother in the face. It is related of St. Arsenius, that a noble lady went to visit him in the desert, to beg of him to recommend her to God. When the saint perceived that his visitor was a woman, he turned away from her. She then said to him : Arsenius, since you will neither see nor hear me, at least remember me in your prayers. No, replied the saint, but I will beg of God to make me forget you, and never more to think of you.
[St. Paul of the Cross similar to St. Arsenius: Another good lady asked Blessed Paul to pray for her and recommend her to God; which he with great charity promised to do. She then begged he would never forget her. Oh! he answered, as for that — no. When I have recommended you to our Lord, I will do my best to forget you immediately. Such was his love of holy purity, that he did not allow women to come too near him, or to kiss his hand: he even disliked uttering the words, woman or female; and all these holy precautions he kept up to the last year of his decrepit old age. Source]
5. From these examples may be seen the folly and temerity of some religious who, though they have not the sanctity of a St. Clare, still gaze around from the terrace, in the parlor, and in the church, upon every object that presents itself, even on persons of a different sex. And notwithstanding their unguarded looks, they expect to be free from temptations and from the danger of sin. For having once looked deliberately at a woman who was gathering ears of corn, the Abbot Pastor was tormented, for forty years, by temptations against chastity. (Dial. L. c. 20.) St. Gregory states, that the temptation, to conquer which St. Benedict rolled himself in thorns, arose from one incautious glance at a female. St. Jerome, though living in a cave, in continual prayer and macerations of the flesh, was terribly molested by the remembrance of ladies whom he had long before seen in Rome. Why should not similar molestations be the lot of religious who wilfully and without reserve, fix their eyes on persons of a different sex ? "It is not," says St. Francis de Sales, "the look, so much as the repetition of it, that proves fatal. "If," says St. Augustine, "our eyes should by chance fall upon others, let us take care never to fix them upon any one." (In reg. iii. e. 21.) Father Manareo, when taking leave of St. Ignatius for a distant place, looked steadfastly in his face: for this look he was corrected by the saint. From the conduct of St. Ignatius on this occasion, we learn that it is not becoming in religious to fix their eyes on the countenance of a person even of the same sex, particularly when the person is young. But I do not see how looks at young persons of a different sex can be excused from the guilt of a venial fault, or even from mortal sin, when there is proximate danger of criminal consent. "It is not lawful," says St. Gregory, "to behold what it is not lawful to covet." The evil thought which proceeds from looks, though it should be rejected, never fails to leave a stain upon the soul. Brother Ruggiero, a Franciscan of singular purity, being once asked why he was so reserved in his intercourse with females, replied: that when men avoid the occasions of sin, God preserves them; but when they expose themselves to danger, they are justly abandoned by the Lord, and easily fall into some grievous transgression. (Lib. i. conform. S. Fran.2.)
6. The indulgence of the eyes, if not productive of bad passions, at least destroys recollection during the time of prayer. For, the images and sensations excited by the objects seen before, or by the wanderings of the eyes, during prayer, will occasion a thousand distractions, and banish all recollection from the soul. It is certain that, without recollection, a religious can pay but little attention to the practice of humility, patience, mortification, or of the other virtues. Hence it it is her duty to abstain from all looks of curiosity, which distract her mind from holy thoughts. Let her eyes be directed only to objects which raise the soul to God. St. Bernard used to say, that to fix the eyes upon the earth, contributes to keep the heart in heaven. "Where," says St. Gregory, "Christ is, there modesty is found." (Epis. 193.) Wherever Jesus Christ dwells by love, there modesty is practised. However, I do not mean to say that the eyes should never be raised, or never fixed on any object. No; but they ought to be directed only to what inspires devotion, to sacred images, and to the beauties of creation, which elevate the soul to the contemplation of the Divinity. Except in looking at such objects, a religious should in general keep the eyes cast down, and particularly in places where they may fall upon dangerous objects. In conversing with men, she should never roll the eyes about to look at them, and much less to look at them a second time.
7. To practise modesty of the eyes, is the duty of a religious, not only because it is necessary for her own improvement in virtue, but also, because it is necessary for the edification of others. God only knows the human heart: man sees only the exterior actions, and by them he is edified or scandalized. "A man," says the Holy Ghost, "is known by his look." (Ecc. xix. 26.) By the countenance the interior is known. Hence, like the baptist, a religious should be "a burning and shining light." (John, v. 35.) She ought to be a torch burning with charity, and shining resplendent by her modesty, to all who behold her. To religious the following words of the Apostle are particularly applicable: "We are made a spectacle to the world, and to angels, and to men." (1 Cor. iv. 9.)
And again: "Let your modesty be known to all men: the Lord is nigh." (Phil. iv. 5.) Religious are attentively observed by the angels and by men; and therefore their modesty should be made manifest before all: if they do not practise modesty, terrible shall be the account which they must render to God on the day of judgment. O what devotion does a modest religious inspire by keeping her eyes always cast down? St. Francis of Assisium once said to his companion that he was going out to preach. After walking through the town, with his eyes fixed on the ground, he returned to the convent. His companion asked him when he would preach the sermon. We have, replied the Saint, by the modesty of our looks, given an excellent instruction to all who saw us. It is related of St. Aloysius Gonzaga, that when he walked through Rome, the students would stand in the streets to observe and admire his modesty.
8. St. Ambrose says, that, to men of the world, the modesty of the saints is a powerful exhortation to virtue. "The look of a just man is an admonition to many." (In Ps. 118.) The Saint adds: "How delightful is it to do good to others by your appearance." It is related of St. Bernardine of Sienna, that even when a secular, his presence was sufficient to restrain the licentiousness of his young companions, who, as soon as they saw him, were accustomed to give to each other, notice of coming. On his arrival, they became silent, or changed the subject of their conversation. It is likewise related of St. Gregory of Nyssa, and of St. Ephrem, that their very appearance inspired piety, and that their sanctity and modesty of their exterior edified and improved all who beheld them. When Innocent the second visited St. Bernard at Clairvaux, such was the exterior modesty of the saint and of his monks, that the Pope and his cardinals were moved to tears of devotion. Surius relates a very extraordinary fact of St. Lucian, a monk and martyr. (Die 7. Jan.) By his modesty he induced so many Pagans to embrace the faith, that the emperor Maximinian, fearing that he should be converted to Christianity by the appearance of the saint, would not allow the holy man to be brought within his view ; but spoke to him from behind a screen. That our Redeemer was the first who taught, by his example, modesty of the eyes, may, as a learned author remarks, be inferred from the holy evangelists, who say that, on some occasion, he raised his eyes. "And he, lifting up his eyes on his disciples." (Luc. vi. 20.) "When Jesus therefore had lifted up his eyes." (John, vi. 5.) From these passages we may conclude that the Redeemer ordinarily kept his eyes cast down. Hence the Apostle, praising the modesty of the Saviour, says: "I beseech you, by the mildness and modesty of Christ." (2 Cor. x. 1.) I shall conclude this subject with what St. Basil said to his monks: If, my children, we desire to raise the soul towards heaven, let us direct the eyes towards the earth. From the moment we awake in the morning let us pray continually, in the words of holy David: "Turn away my eyes, that they may not behold vanity." (Ps. cxviii. 37.)
"...he ever passed through the streets with downcast eyes. But above all he disliked all his life long to have to talk or to deal with women. He fled their company to such a degree, that anyone who saw him would have said he had an inborn antipathy to them. If by chance while he was at Castiglione his mother sent any of her ladies-in-waiting to take him a message, he came to the door so as not to let them in, and at once fixed his eyes on the ground and gave his answer without looking at them, and so sent them away. He did not even like talking with his mother alone. When it chanced that while he was with her, either in the drawing room or in her own private room, those who were with her chanced to leave, he either sought for some excuse to go away, or if he could not go he blushed deeply, so exceedingly careful and circumspect was he. A learned man asked him one day, for he had noticed what he did, why he avoided women to such a degree, and even his own mother. He tried to conceal his motive and to show that it was through a natural shyness rather than from a motive of virtue. One of the agreements he made with his father was that he would, as in duty bound, obey him in every thing at once, save as to meeting ladies. And the Marquis, who saw how firm he was on that point, kept the agreement in order not to annoy him. In fact S. Aloysius said that he had never seen some ladies who were near relations to him. So well was his way of acting known to every one, that at home he used to be called in joke, the womanhater.
St. Alphonsus' Sermon(directed at laymen)
(St. Alphonsus is a Doctor of the Church who specializes in Moral Theology)
On Impurity:
13. As to the flight of dangerous occasions, St. Philip
Neri used to say that cowards that is, they who fly
from the occasions gain the victory. Hence you must,
in the first place, keep a restraint on the eyes, and must
abstain from looking at young females. Otherwise, says
St. Thomas, you can scarcely avoid the sin. "Luxuria
vitari vix protest nisi vitatur aspectus mulieris pulchrae."
(S. Thom. 1, 2, qu. 167, a. 2.) Hence Job said : "I
made a covenant with my eyes, that I would not so much
as think upon a virgin" (xxxi. 1). He was afraid to
look at a virgin ; because from looks it is easy to pass to
desires, and from desires to acts. St. Francis de Sales
used to say, that to look at a woman does not do so
much evil as to look at her a second time. If the devil
has not gained a victory the first, he will gain the second
time. And if it be necessary to abstain from looking at
females, it is much more necessary to avoid conversation
with them. "Tarry not among women." (Eccl. xlii. 12.)
We should be persuaded that, in avoiding occasions of
this sin, no caution can be too great. Hence we must
be always fearful, and fly from them. "A wise man
feareth and declineth from evil ; a fool is confident."
(Prov. xiv. 16.) A wise man is timid, and flies away;
a fool is confident, and falls.
On Bad thoughts:
10. Above all, in order to avoid bad thoughts, men
must abstain from looking at women, and females must
be careful not to look at men. I repeat the words of
Job which I have frequently quoted : " I made a
covenant with my eyes, that I should not so much as think
upon a virgin." (Job xxxi. 1.) He says that he made a
covenant with his eyes that he would not think. What
have the eyes to do with thinking ? The eyes do not
think ; the mind alone thinks. But he had just reason
to say that he made a covenant with his eyes that he
would not think on women ; for St. Bernard says, that
through the eyes the darts of impure love, which kills
the soul, enter into the mind. "Per oculos intrat in
mentem sagitta impuri arnoris." Hence the Holy Ghost
says : "Turn away thy face from a woman dressed
up." (Eccl. ix. 8.) It is always dangerous to look at
young persons elegantly dressed ; and to look at them
purposely, and without a just cause, is, at least, a venial
sin.
St. Gemma:From her infancy she had become mistress of her eyes, and kept them habitually lowered, but without affectation. As she advanced in years and in virtue she became more firmly established in this practice, owing to a resolution she made, when one day in church she happened to look with curiosity, for a moment, at the dress of a little girl who sat next her. She was so angry with herself for this, which seemed to her a crime, that she resolved never more to turn her eyes to look willfully at anyone in this world. From that day forward those innocent eyes remained closed to exterior things and subject to her will. In order to make her use them, a formal command was needed. She then obeyed but only for a few seconds and again, modestly blushing, lowered them. On this account, whoever desired to observe the beauty of her soul that shone in her eyes was obliged to do so while she was in ecstasy, as then she generally kept them raised to Heaven.
St. Gabriel:
"Let the brethren," says the rule, "keep a diligent guard over their senses,
but especially restrain their eyes." The
moral axiom that "unrestrained freedom in gazing about is incompatible
with purity of heart," was known even to the pagans of old. Hence our
Gabriel from his very first days in the novitiate, before he received
the religious habit, made a covenant with his eyes which he scrupulously observed to his death.
If perchance he met a person of the other sex, he would either turn his eyes in
some other direction, or else fix them upon the little crucifix or the
image of Our Lady of Dolors, which we have on our beads. But he did
this with such a total absence of constraint or affectation that he
seemed to act as naturally in this as in all else. This reserve was
particularly striking when on rare occasions the students happened to
enter the house of some benefactor. No doubt such circumspection will
appear exaggerated to those of a worldly spirit; yet this was the
common practice of the saints of God :— either then, their austerity or our carelessness
must surely be at fault.
...
Our Gabriel was habitually so modest in his exterior that he did not
even know the religious with whom he lived, save by their voice or gait;
and on the other hand, none of his companions could tell with certainty the color of his eyes.
He always walked in a most modest manner with downcast eyes, according to the advice of St.
Benedict, St. Ignatius, as well as our holy Founder, but in all this
his demeanor was so natural that it did not obtrude itself upon the
notice of others as a singularity, whilst his very presence breathed
forth the angelical purity of his soul.
Life of St. Gabriel of Our Lady of Sorrows
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